Thursday, June 14, 2007

Hard Out Here For A Sock

Dudes, Travis was SO happy about all your comments! Thanks for reinforcing his sexy knitteriness!

Someone mentioned stash. Yeah, sure, a new knitter husband is great, huh? Except that he seems to think that our marriage comes with a built-in stash and he doesn't need his own wool. I asked him at the Knit-Out if he wanted anything, and he said, "Nah, I figure there's enough sock yarn in the house for both of us."

Oooh, no, bitch, please. You'd best work on your own Loopy Groupie status! And won't he be confounded if he does try to rifle through the stash and ask me to use skein after skein, and discovers that, for some reason, none of the wool is actually intended for knitting?

Something we realized last night that I feel like noting - we have a number of gay friends, and to my knowledge, none of them knit, carry a manpurse, or wear headbands. And since most (okay, all) of them would rather spend an evening enduring slings from a panel of evangelicals mediated by Bill O'Reilly than let me teach them to knit, I think they might be offended if they heard someone calling knitting "gay". (Sorry, I'm just still really annoyed at the "knitting = gay" thing. Why are so many straights so damned stupid??)

Anyway...there is a great thing about Travis trying out the knitting: he GETS it now. He dropped a stitch and made me pause the TV and stop breathing. Something happened on a show and he asked me to rewind it because he'd been counting and had missed it. While trying to kitchener the toe on his sock, he yelled at the dog for licking her paw too loudly. Annoyed at the SSK he'd done instead of a K2tog, he opted to not knit flustered and started the dishes, but he got very pissy with the dish soap that had the nerve to drip on the counter. SEE?? NOW he knows! No more complaints when I do all that stuff!! (Or so I can hope.)

When the guys gave him a hard time yesterday, he informed them that actually, it was considered manly to knit; that many years ago, women only did the spinning and the actual knitting was done by the men and therefore, history dictates that knitting is a very manly activity.



Now, you wanna see the sock he knit?! Woo!!

First Sock

Lookit this little guy! I had him knit a twee sock first so that he could have a more instant gratification and grasp the concepts. (And I might have quietly been guinea pigging him to see whether this would be a method that would be viable for my class proposal.)

And lest anyone should think knitting and carrying a baby sock around in a pocket isn't something tough guys can or should do:

You gotta problem with my knitting?

Also, the sock wants the haters to know some things:

I stand on my own

Some people got a problem with the socks. First off, Sock stands on his OWN!! See this? He don't need a foot to hold him up in this world, and he don't need people to say it's not okay for him to be knit by a dude! 'Cuz check it out:

Get your kicks...

Sock can drive a car...

Looks like you've got a muffler bearing loose...

Sock can check his own fluids, make sure all the spark plugs are sparklin'...

Nah, I got this.

Sock can check the tires, patch tubes and, you know, all that kind of thing...

Damn! keys!

But you know, Sock ain't perfect, Sock makes mistakes. Sock can lock his keys in the truck...

Jimmies a lock

But it's cool, 'cuz Sock totally learned how to jimmie a lock when he was, you know, "away". (Cops planted that stuff, aight?)

Slice and a brew

Sock enjoys a slice and a brew - and yeah, that's some jalapenos. Sock likes a little heat.

Hey baby...

After downing a few, Sock might pick up a chick in the parking lot. Yeah, maybe she's a little dirty, but that's how Sock likes it, you know what I'm sayin'? (See, Sock's all about the chicks, no doubt.)

Kinda sad...

Sorry, baby, Sock don't snuggle after.

So that's who Sock is. All y'all who think y'all know, y'all don't know, you know? And if anyone has a problem, you best keep it to yourself.

I'll cut you!

'Cuz Sock will cut a bitch! You know Sock crazy!!!