Bothersome

Update: Pure Knits has some Yarntini in stock.

Things I Have Eaten This Week:
Radishes
Grape tomatoes
Grilled tofu
Grilled tofu
Grilled tofu
Grilled tofu
Veggie chili (homemade, containing only vegetables, tomatoes, and - guess what - tofu)
Cottage cheese and fresh fruit
Juice with Alive! apple spice flavored supplement powder
Kettle corn (no additives, just corn, salt, and a pinch o' sugar in a big pot at the Farmer's Market)
A caramel macchiato (oh, but it was so GOOD)
Roasted zucchini, eggplant, and squash
Dried cherries (so I wouldn't pass out mid-day)
Low Sodium V8
A couple of saltines

(Okay, and I finally broke down last night and had a few bagel chips with some goat cheese. I almost wept.)

I love food. All food - I even love the stuff I've been eating this week. But see, while I love grilled tofu, I also love fried stuff slathered in cheese, and I just let the two balance each other out. I love ice cream. I love sticking my finger in the peanut butter jar. (We have a regular jar for sandwiches and the like, and a little baby jar for finger-scooping - seriously.)

Do you have any idea how much I'm going to eat at the wedding? I hear that the bride is supposed to mingle and greet all her guests - hell with that, let 'em come to me. I'll be easy to spot, there at the buffet face down in the seafood pasta. (Mmmmm, cream sauce...) And Travis won't have to worry about me getting mad if he gets cake on my face after the cutting, since I'll have already clawed off an enormous hunk of spice cake and shoved it in my mouth. (Mmmm, cream cheese frosting...)

I have no idea how I've dieted so many times in my life. For some reason, this time it's just killing me. I think it's because it's so urgent that I lose these seven pounds in three weeks, and usually it's just "Oh, look, I've put five pounds on, let me take care of that this month" and it falls off because I just maybe have a little less of this or that. I have NO IDEA how I managed to cling to my life and my sanity back a few years ago when I had jaw surgery and literally couldn't eat any solid food whatsoever for five weeks. (Want to talk about a weight loss program? Ugh, I was scrawny.) I can still and probably always will be able to tell you what my first real meal was after that. (Pizza and french fries at Alfonso's, and I was sick almost immediately.) *Note: I am NOT starving myself. I can have all the healthy, natural food I want. But there's still little joy in eating all the tofu, cucumbers, and brown rice I can stand.

You know my next weird dream, instead of me walking down the aisle in my mom's leather 80s suit, is going to be me being rolled down the aisle in a big ball of macaroni and cheese. (Mmmm, cheddar mode of transportation...)

I think it's affecting my mojo - I've still not quite hit a higher gear on the stocking. I'm not NOT knitting on it, just not as diligently as I could. But I've also started hitting the wheel again a bit - I've had no spinning mojo for quite some time, and I really had a jones. (I'm back, baby.)

Thanks for all the positive and wonderful comments about the wedding - I don't have enough calories to keep upright AND respond to emails and comments the way I like to, but I'm so appreciative. I know everything will go well enough, and I don't expect everything to be perfect. (It'd be dull as hell, then, wouldn't it?) Fortunately, it's a small wedding with a limited guest list, so I'm not a complete stressball. And I've finally started accomplishing some of the things on my to-do list. (It's really interfering with my need to be horribly lazy, though.)

*Sigh* I can't wait to start knitting again.

My best friend's coworker offered to provide me with a Xanax on the wedding day, if I thought I would need it to help me calm down. Ha! I don't figure I'll be stressed out then - at that point, what's done is done. But even if I thought I would be stressed out, I'd have to turn her down - see, it's not just that I have to maintain normal bridal decorum. Our officiant is a Very Important Individual at my work, and so not only would it be totally out of character and just generally inappropriate for me to be stoned out of my gourd (mmm, spaghetti squash...), it would also probably be a lousy career move to spend the entire ceremony swaying back and forth and drooling on his shoes.

Alright, that's enough - I'm really done talking about the wedding for a while. (No, really!!) And I will be showing off some handspun or some other such thing (like that one Groom's Sock) so I can get some pictures of something fibery up here and quit flapping my yap about every damned thing until finally on the 10th I can go back to talking about the stocking. (Have you entered the contest yet??)

Happy knitting. And please, next time you eat fried stuff with cheese, think of me.