This Is Awkward...

What do you do when you run out of ways to try to get in touch with somebody and you don't know who they are?

Dear Pal: I'm worried about you. Please write! -alyson-

There's something one might not know about me: I worry way too much. I can seem pretty laidback and chill, but in my brain, I am forever picturing fire and smoke and mangled metal and ditches and bridges and flesh-eating beetles and CSI teams and all sorts of atrocities. Thankfully, it never turns out to be the case, but I'm afraid to let down my guard and I get frantic rather easily - which is unusual for someone who's notorious for going weeks without returning a phone call. (Hey, I never said that my neuroses make sense or that they make me more considerate and aware that others might share the same condition.)

Early on when we had just started seeing each other, Travis didn't return my calls for about a week (turned out to be nothing me-related, just personal stuff) but I went from "Ew, what a jerk," to "I've been dumped! What did I do to deserve such uncermonious treatment?" to "What did I do? Oh God I did something, I must have done something, or he heard something about me that made him never want to speak to me again - crap, did he see that copy of Spice World on my DVD shelf?!" to "I can't eat today, I'll throw it up, my nerves are shot, what is GOING ON???" to "OH GOD HE'S DEAD I JUST KNOW IT HE'S DEAD AND I'LL NEVER KNOW IF HE WAS 'THE ONE' AND I GIVE UP I'M RUNNING OFF TO THE NUNNERY". Well, he IS the one, as it turns out, and good thing because I never did figure out where exactly one finds a nunnery. And of course, even though I'm sure my voicemails sounded increasingly crazed, I didn't actually come out and tell him how frantic I was until much much later (I'm clinically insane, but I'm not stupid).

I bet I'm going to be really fun to have as a mom.