How Uncool I Am:

While sitting with someone at the office in order to show her something job-related (which is but a small portion of what I understand my duties to be,) I flipped a page on a packet of papers and let out a soft little yelp. Have you ever tried to stay cool and composed and professional when you have just attached yourself to a packet of papers via loose staple? It SUCKS. Here I am, trying to describe a process to her, and trying not to let on to the fact that I am hopelessly entangled with this staple, which has just begun to fornicate with the fleshy part of my thumb in a very invasive and ouchie way. I eventually had to suck it up and say, "Excuse me, I appear to have stapled myself to this stuff, and I'll just be a moment." My cubicle is small, and the pain was getting worse, so I just kind of half-turned away and tried to maneuver my hand in a way that would give me some kind of view of what had happened - the thing had slipped in kind of sideways, which is why I couldn't extricate myself without drawing attention to the process. I pulled myself free, removed the staple and re-stapled the papers (because now the staple was sullied, I suppose,) doused myself with alcohol-based hand cleaner, and tried to go about my business as if nothing had happened. She was completely mortified. I think I've scarred her for life.

*Sigh* Being career-oriented is difficult when you're klutzy and easily distracted.

I had a go at writing a bio for the SAFF workshops. You ready for this?

Alyson Johnson is a self-taught knitter whose admiration of the fiber arts quickly spiraled into crazed obsession. A prolific knitter, spinner, and designer, she is also one of the legions of knit-bloggers and yarn vendors attempting to convert the Internet into the Interknit. Alyson most recently garnered attention web-wide for a pair of thigh-high lace Bellocq stockings she knit for her wedding. A proud Public Knitter, she often provides impromptu knitting lessons to anyone who expresses the slightest interest, including her husband and any number of waitresses and shop clerks. Never far from the needles, she prides herself on knitting while traversing the streets of downtown Orlando during lunch hour, delighting in the strange looks one gets for dragging a half-knit wool sweater around town in a Florida July. When not knitting or spinning, Alyson can be found talking about knitting or spinning, talking about other things while thinking about knitting or spinning, and engaging in lively debates with her husband as to whether it is sane to pursue the goal of owning all of the sock yarn in the world. (Yes. It is.)

Faced with bios of people who rattle off the 47 different breeds of sheep they raise and the eleventyhundred awards they've earned and organizations they're a part of, I thought it best to take the "vague and kinda funny" approach. It's also way long. (But all or mostly true. I don't actually plan to own ALL the sock yarn in the world - I don't even really like Opal. And yes, I do consider a mention of the stockings by Yarn Harlot to be "web-wide". It doesn't get much wider, really, at least not in my world. I did make sure to include the pattern name for the stockings, lest anyone should think I'm attempting to take credit for the design, which is far more brilliant than anything I've ever come up with.)

OH! Speaking of which, Stitch Diva is having a sale on patterns (you know Stitch Diva...Sahara, Bellocq, Simple Knitted Bodice?) They're giving 25% off and donating the proceeds of the sales to very worthy causes; if you've been thinking about picking up any patterns from them - or even if you haven't - now's the time! The sale runs through today.

And finally, I suck: Jill emailed me about a million years ago about good man sock patterns - she wants to knit a generic sock for her hubby - and I never did compile a proper answer. I'll offer up some suggestions here:

The first ones I knit for Travis were just a simple ribbed-cuff thing, 2x2 rib, plain stockinette foot. The ones I knit for the wedding were based off of the Garter Rib socks in Sensational Knitted Socks, which I would totally recommend as being one of the best books for sock knitting because it covers pretty much every conceivable foot, leg, and ankle measurement, and it has tons of great stitch pattern ideas, a lot of which are good manly ones - I would imagine the same is true of the sequel, but I don't have that one yet. And Nancy Bush's books, particularly Knitting on the Road, have some really great man socks. Oh, and I knit the Boyfriend Socks for my dad ('cuz that's not weird) and they're GREAT.

Anyone else have suggestions for good boy-socks?

Edit: Thanks, Robin, good point! There's also this post of mine from last year where there are tons of awesome sock patterns on the web - I remember thinking the Blueberry Waffle socks would be awesome for a guy, among others.